Shoot It Myself

Lori looked scared to death and I knew that if she tried to shoot she’d miss. I could see her hands shaking as she looked from the gun to the walker then at me. “Throw it to me!” I yelled at her, “Carefully!” I added, not wanting my own face to get blown off.

She nodded; then, cradling the small revolver in one hand, underhand tossed it up the stairs at me. It fell short of my reach but luckily it hadn’t fallen out of Carol’s. She caught it instead and quickly handed it to me.

I cocked the gun back, held it up to the walkers head point-blank and jerked the trigger. The noise in such a closed area caused everyone to stumble back with their hands clamped over their ears. Maggie almost fell down the stairs and I didn’t blame her; the walker’s brain had exploded against the wall and was now in a heap behind her. She caught her balance only to bolt from the top of the stairs to the bottom in a blink of an eye.

Carl and Lori were sitting back in their chairs with Carol. I remained on the top step, stuffing the walker out of the basement and shutting the door. I quickly locked it. Immediately walkers began to pound on it. The door was made for taking damage but it didn’t stop me from worrying that they were going to kick it in and we’d all be walker food.

I carefully walked backwards down the stairs, keeping my eyes on the door just in case. I sat down in my chair and held my breath. This was ridiculous; all we were doing down here was sitting and crying. Wondering what was going on above us, hoping the ones we loved were alright. We were doing absolutely nothing to help; I felt completely useless.

I must’ve ended up falling asleep to my thoughts because the next thing I knew, the basement door was open. I panicked and took a firm grasp on the hatchet next to my chair. I was about to swing at something when I heard voices.

“Woah, woah, put that down, girl!” I caught Daryl’s voice.

I lowered the hatchet, realizing that hearing him meant it must be safe.

“Wha—? What happened?” I asked, setting down the weapon before rubbing my eyes.

“Walkers got distracted by somethin’, left the farm. ‘course we had to come get y’all.” He looked around the room noting the others in it.

I followed his gaze; Lori and Carl were hugging Rick, Glenn was comforting a crying Maggie and Beth, Andrea was talking to Carol and Patricia, but I couldn’t find T-Dog.

“He’s fine,” Daryl caught my worried look, “he’s just upstairs making sure they’re all completely gone.”

I let out a breath of relief, but then held it again.

“And Hershel? Jimmy?”

Daryl shook his head, staring at the ground.

“Shit…” I muttered, looking back at Maggie, Beth, and Glenn. “Can I please get out of this hell hole?” I looked away at the heart breaking sight.

“O’course—but lemme tell ya, it’s not any better lookin’ up there.”

I shrugged off his warning, “I just need to get out.”

Daryl stepped in front of me and led me up the stairs. I grabbed onto his coat sleeve as we passed by everyone, not making eye contact with any of them.

He wasn’t joking when he said it wasn’t any better. The place was a mess; worse than a mess. One of the windows was smashed through and numerous walkers had thrown their bodies into the hole, trying to get in. Thankfully none of them were moving. The whole house was trashed, the couch had pieces of fluff torn out of it, the table was broken in two, there were blood splatter patterns on almost every wall, and the floor was barely recognizable.

“Holy shit.” I muttered again.

“Told ya.”

“And you’re okay right?” I turned to him.

“Just fine. You?”

“Oh, I don’t know…”

Daryl gave me an uneasy glance.

“No I mean, I’m fine physically, I haven’t been bitten or anything. I’m fine. Just… people died tonight. I’m a little… messed up, I guess.”

He nodded, “No shit, I’m with ya on that.”

But he had no idea what I’d been through this night. He didn’t know what it was like to watch the one he loved go mad, try to kill their best friend, and ending up getting killed right in front of you. He had no idea I even loved Shane in the first place; and I had no intentions of telling him at all.

Click for The End